KID First Round Playoff Predictions

Each year, eleven of my best friends and I participate in a keeper fantasy football league, dubbed "Keeper? I Don't Even Like Her!" (KID, for short).  These power rankings are for them.

The races went down to the wire, but now our playoff field is set.  Tough luck for Colin and Superior, who both came up short last week when they needed a win.  Jason's ass is bigger than we thought, because he pulled another 155 points out of it.  Mike was in a hole after Vince Young put up nine points last Thursday, but Chris Johnson actually decided to show up against the Bills.  Will became the first team in league history to make the playoffs with a losing record, but with the fourth-highest point total in the league, he deserves to be there.  Let's take a look at the matchups for the first round.

The Mighty Kegs (5) vs. Doctor Asshole (4)  Tensions between these former roommates haven't been this high since the time Mike claimed that he was a bigger Phillies fan than Jason.

Studs - Superstar waiver wire pickup Cam Newton has carried Jason all season and Marshawn Lynch is underrated.  Michael Vick is getting healthy just in time for Mike and CJ2K is finally starting to look like his old self.

Best Matchup - Michael Turner faces a Panthers defense that has given up more fantasy points to RBs than any other team.  Good news for Jason.

Worst Matchup - Willis McGahee has had a renaissance in Denver, but he may have a subpar game for Mike when he goes against Chicago's strong run defense.

Dark Horse - Jabbar Gaffney looks like the weak link on Jason's roster.  But he is playing the Patriots' makeshift secondary, and should see more targets now that Fred Davis is suspended.

THE PICK - Jason has the better matchups, but Johnson is hitting his stride and Vick will return from his injury in a big way.  I'm going with The Mighty Kegs in an upset.

A Few Good Chicks (6) vs. Room for Regret (3)  Will tried to blackmail Kevin with some incriminating photos earlier this season, to no avail.  Now Kevin plans to regain some semblance of his lost manhood.

Studs - For Kevin, it's all about Tom Brady and LeSean McCoy.  Each week they provide more than a third of his team's overall points.  Will wouldn't be in the playoffs if not for touchdown machines Calvin Johnson and Rob Gronkowski.

Best Matchup - Johnson, Anquan Boldin and Michael Crabtree are all going against weak secondaries.  If Will is going to win this week, he'll need his receivers to come up big. 

Worst Matchup - McCoy could disappoint Kevin this week.  He'll carry less of a load with Vick back, and Miami has given up the second-fewest points to running backs this year. 

Dark Horses - Green Bay's defense is opportunistic and Oakland's offense is turnover-prone.  The Jets defense is relentless and Kansas City's offense is Tyler Palko-prone.

THE PICK - Matt Forte's injury is a huge blow to Will, but I think he has the matchup advantages to pull this one off.  Even if Brady throws a few touchdowns, you have to assume that one or two of them will go to Gronkowski.  If Philip Rivers can come close to the effort he had against Jacksonville last week, A Few Good Chicks will move on to the next round.