KID Week 13 Power Rankings - Playoff Scenarios

Jason drafted this guy in the second round, yet is still somehow making the playoffs.

Each year, eleven of my best friends and I participate in a keeper fantasy football league, dubbed "Keeper? I Don't Even Like Her!" (KID, for short).  These power rankings are for them.

This may sound bitter, but I don't care.  Jason represents everything I hate about fantasy football.  He wasn't able to make our draft and his proxy was intoxicated by the third round.  He's started a player on bye.  His best keeper was Peyton Manning.  He's made six moves all season.  And he thinks Erik Decker was a finalist on American Idol.  "Bare minimum" doesn't begin to describe the effort he's put forth this season.  And yet, barring a big collapse, Jason will make our playoffs, while I remain an also-ran for the second year straight.  I'm done trying to understand this league.  Bah humbug.

As we enter the final week of the regular season, things are tight.  Only Hunt and Sumit have clinched a playoff spot.  After being 4-6 and on the verge of elimination, Will can clinch the 3rd seed this week or be out of the race altogether.  In the match of the year, Mike and Colin face each other in a win-and-you're(maybe)-in scenario.  It's going to be a wild finish.  Below are the playoff scenarios for each team.

 

TEAM - RECORD - POINTS

1. Beast Mode  10-2  1381 pts - Hunt has clinched a bye.  He can clinch the #1 seed if:

a) he wins, OR

b) Sumit loses, OR

c) Sumit doesn't outscore him by 36 points

2. Rice and Breesy  9-3  1345 pts - Sumit has clinched a bye.  He can clinch the #1 seed if:

a) he wins, Hunt loses, AND he outscores Hunt by 36 points

3. Room for Regret  7-5  1280 pts - Because of his high point total, Kevin has locked up a playoff spot.  The only way he can be eliminated is if he loses to Superior by 170 points AND Will also wins.  Not gonna happen.

4. Doctor Asshole  7-5  1178 pts - Jason would clinch a playoff spot if:

a) he wins

b) Will loses, OR

c) Superior loses, OR

d) Superior doesn't outscore him by 64 points, OR

e) Colin doesn't outscore him by 64 points

5. A Few Good Chicks  6-6  1289 pts - Will would clinch a playoff spot if:

a) he wins, OR

b) Superior loses

6. Dirty Mike & The Boys  6-6  1114 pts - Colin would clinch a playoff spot if:

a) he wins AND Will loses, OR

b) he wins AND Superior loses, OR

c) he wins, Superior wins, AND he outscores Superior, OR

d) he wins, Jason loses, AND he outscores Jason by 64 points

7. Father Superior  6-6  1114 pts - Superior would clinch a playoff spot if:

a) he wins AND Will loses, OR

b) he wins, Colin wins, AND he outscores Colin, 

c) he wins, Mike wins, AND Mike doesn't outscore him by 42 points

8. The Mighty Kegs  6-6  1072 pts - Mike's low point total puts him at a disadvantage here.  He would clinch if:

a) he wins AND Will loses, OR

b) he wins AND Superior loses, 

c) he wins, Superior wins, AND he outscores Superior by 42 points

9. Lambs_of_Combat!  5-7  994 pts - Although a team with a 6-7 record could still make the playoffs, Scott's low point total would lose all tiebreakers for him.  He's done.  However, he will clinch the third pick in next year's draft if he loses to Dave this week.

10. Aluminum Pint  4-8  1066 pts - After four straight losses, last year's runner-up is left without a prayer for the playoffs.  Dave will clinch the third pick in the draft with a loss to Scott.  He will clinch the second pick if he loses and Erik wins.

11. Hostile Takeover  4-8  927 pts - Erik has performed admirably, winning three out of five weeks since he was given Ward's team.  He clinches the third pick in the draft with a win this week and a Dave loss, otherwise he has the second pick.

12. The Pudgy Pelican  2-10  1062 pts - I've locked up the first pick in the draft after my second straight rebuilding year, but I've stocked up on picks and the future looks bright.  Wait, didn't I say this last year?

Image found here.